No king can be without
a queen so Neptunus called for a beauty pageant in order to select the loveliest, daintiest creature of all. At the appointed hour Mr. Geraghty introduced the beauties as they pranced about the foc’sl. All divisions were well represented by delightful, sweet things that would have put Waikiki beach to shame. The daring d’e colletage of Perkins ETN3 and Roman RM3 was rivaled only by Boobs Bortell’s “happening.” Daisy Mae Gann, and Sadie Sieggreen went down to the wire; but the king desired more, and experience won as Chief Cook reigned supreme with his unwashed foot!
Came the appointed hour and the pollwogs were summoned to the foc'sl. The royal judge weighed the scales carefully in his own favor. The barber finally broached the chain of command and ridded CLAUD JONES of all long, and short hair! The royal baby was sunburned, the queens foot was indeed pungent, and the showers were clogged with mustard relish and garbage; but the metamorphosis had occurred.

The Supplier, Christina
Thank Goodness for 
The Hanky, Perky
It's Not Easy To Be Beautiful